Falling In Love

I let my emotions get the best of me in one affair. Just the sound of his voice made my knees weak and gave me butterflies. He was gorgeous, tall, smart, funny, well educated, well hung, and FUN! We had everything in common and had similar goals in life. He said all the right things at all the right times and eventually, I let my guard down and fell in love.

The sex was awesome, he could make me cum like not many men ever have. Pretty soon though, it got to be about more than the sex. We would text, e-mail, and call each other every chance we had. We spent every minute together that I could get away. We had never talked about taking our relationship any farther but we had both said I love you, and meant it. I longed to be with him every second. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get him off of my mind. He consumed my every thought.

After about 2 years things started to go wrong. We were getting tired of each other and had started fighting. 'D' had hinted that he wanted more than I could give him. He had hinted that he wanted me to leave The Man. I always just blew him off. The Man started to suspect something. Now, he's not stupid, so I'm sure that he suspected long before he ever actually voiced his suspicions. By then 'D' and I were pretty comfortable (and cocky) and become pretty bold and were not being as careful about being caught.

One night I came home from work to The Man waiting for me. As soon as I saw him, I knew that he knew. I wouldn't deny it. That wasn't me, I'd own up to it. He told me we needed to talk so I sat and asked him what we needed to talk about. He cried as he told me that he had seen our cell phone bill and had been following me around. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed him following me. I guess that was part of becoming complacent and comfortable in my relationship with 'D'. I had let my guard down in every way. The Man asked if I wanted a divorce. My honest answer was that no, I didn't. I was (and am) still very deeply in love with The Man.

He was hurt, which is understandable. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier for him to have found out about some random fuck than someone that I had feelings for. He felt like he had done something wrong, but I knew he hadn't. Our marriage was good, I was happy, he was happy, our kids were happy. It was hard for me to explain to him that the whole thing started because I needed that yearning feeling again. I needed the newness of someone and I had let my guard down with that someone.

We both cried that night. We both yelled, we threw things, we made promises and we made love. I told him that I enjoy having sex with other men. I think that was the hardest thing I have ever had to say to him. While he wasn't okay with it, he is okay with not knowing. He doesn't check up on me, he doesn't follow me around and he doesn't ask where I'm going when I go out. He buys me sexy little outfits to wear and he gives me my freedom. I think the thought of me getting railed by someone else turns him on, but he will never admit it.

He did confront 'D' about it. It was an all out brawl, but it's in the past now. 'D' has moved on and so have I. I know most people won't understand but my marriage is stronger now. I still like to get fucked often and I still have sex with other men. It has spiced up my sex life with The Man and I'm pretty sure he isn't complaining!